This is the story of my online dating career which I have decided to give up. Why? Because there are too many creepy guys out there. Read this post to learn more.
When I was younger, I used to be too shy to look for a partner in real life. I was 14 when we first had Internet access at home and my childhood friend and I started using chat sites, just for fun as online dating wasn’t a thing at that time in Hungary. I had a date with a guy, though. I will start with that story.
I was 21 – if I remember well – when I broke up with my first boyfriend. There were already a few dating sites, so I decided to look around on the world wide web.
1. My first blind date
I was at secondary school when I met this guy in a chat room. He asked me out on a date and I said yes. We had agreed to meet in the city centre after school. He was so shy that he didn’t even dare to walk up to me. When he came closer, he was weirder than I thought. He had a speech problem and such a strong smell of deodorant that I could hardly tolerate it. We were walking in the city and when we sat down after a while, his body language started to project dominance. He didn’t sit next to me but stayed standing up in front of me instead. He stood tall and put his feet right next to me on the bench. I started to feel uncomfortable, so I wanted to walk home. I told him that my bus would leave soon and I wanted to catch it. It turned out that he had checked the bus schedule to the village where I lived at that point and he was trying to prevent me from getting on the bus. I did get on the bus and never contacted him again. I also stopped going on blind dates until a few years later when there were actual dating sites available in Hungary.
2. The hypochondriac
So there was this guy in his late thirties. He sent me a photo of his half-naked self to show me what a perfect body he had. He didn’t, in fact. As he acted weirdly, I didn’t want to go on a date with him. Years later I was running a small business, he learnt about it somehow and came to see me. We started talking and he was more than weird. He asked for the medical history of his partners’ families. Just in case, he impregnated a woman, he wanted to make sure that the offspring wouldn’t have an inherited disease. He paid special attention to mental disorders such as alcoholism, schizophrenia and depression. He also wanted to know about the sexual history of the women he wanted to date and he before the first intercourse, he told them to have themselves tested for HIV. It was especially important in the cases of women who had had sex with foreigners. After all the crap he had told me about himself, sure enough, I didn’t want to date him. He has periods, though, when he contacts me and hopes for a sex date or something but I keep rejecting him.
3. The guy who hates financially conscious women
I met this guy online last year. I wasn’t looking for a partner but I signed up to several dating sites to collect stories for a post I had been planning. Some female friends of mine told me how weird certain dating sites were, so I checked out the most notorious ones. So I met this really kind guy. He didn’t care about the fact that I have a child, he would have accepted her if I had been looking for a partner. He was also very nice and intelligent, so everything went well until the topic of money came up. He told me that he had to side hustles to make ends meet, he didn’t have a bank account (he had never had one), he didn’t find savings important because he thought that he would die by the age of 65 (people retire at the age of 65 in Hungary). When I told him that I was financially conscious, do budgeting every month, I didn’t want anyone to support me financially, was working to be financially independent, he told me that I was a money-focused bitch. Before that, I had always thought that men hated gold-diggers and women who keep asking for money. It turned out that I was wrong. Soon after this conversation, as he was browsing my Facebook profile, he discovered a photo of me and an interpreter colleague of mine. It was taken at a conference where we worked together as conference interpreters. The guy was totally pissed off as he thought that I had a relationship with my colleague (if not, why would I post a photo with him) and we haven’t talked since that day.
4. The creepiest of all
It’s a recent story. As friends of mine told me how horrible Twitter was, I decided to register and look around for the sake of the blog post I have mentioned earlier. I was logged in for 10 minutes because there were so many weirdos there that I just couldn’t handle it. The following morning I deleted my account. Unfortunately, this guy found my profile at night and he checked me on Facebook as well. It turned out that we had mutual friends, so he asked them for information about me. They didn’t know much about me as we were not actual friends, just colleagues. Anyway, they told him that I was educated, very intelligent and a high-quality woman. One of my colleagues also told him that I had a daughter and a marriage that is about to end, so I wasn’t looking for a partner. I thought that talking to someone wouldn’t hurt, so we started chatting. Early on, I told him that I wasn’t looking for a partner and I didn’t want to go on a date with him. He told me that he didn’t want to date a married woman, so we said goodbye. A few hours later, he got back to me. He found my YouTube channel and blog and he found me interesting. He told me how great I looked and how great my videos were. As I had a portrait photo as a profile picture on Facebook, he asked me to send him a full-figure photo just to make sure I wasn’t fat. What???? Of course, I didn’t send him anything, but he found a photo of me that I had uploaded last summer. It was me in a mini dress. He told me that I looked fantastic and started to talk me into meeting him. I kept rejecting him and he told me that I should be happy about the fact that he was chatting with me because twenty-something women wanted to date him and he chose to chat with me anyway. I wished him good luck with the twenty-something women (he was in his forties) but he didn’t leave me alone. He started to tell me about his future plans. He wanted two children within a certain period of time, which I found weird because no woman wants to be pressed by time when it comes to starting a family. He also told me that my daughter wouldn’t count in the two kids he wanted as he wanted two kids of his own and with my daughter, it would mean three kids, which would be too much. He also said that maybe I could leave my daughter with my parents and if a woman loves a man, she should be willing to sacrifice everything, even her own life for the happiness of the man. I said goodbye to him. Then he started texting me for minutes, threatened to defriend me and quit the conversation. A few weeks later he got back. He still wanted to meet me. He was joking about the fact that I was about to get divorced and become a single mother. Very funny… He also told me that he knew everything about me as he and his friends (the two colleagues of mine) have discussed everything about me. He typed his final messages in capital letters which I find creepy AF. I could no longer tolerate his style, so I blocked him. That night he found me on a website where I advertise teaching services. He contacted me with a fake email address (so that I wouldn’t be able to respond), wrote that I was insane and he also blocked me. I contacted my interpreter colleague and told him about this whole thing. It turned out that they have met only a couple of times and they weren’t really friends, just acquaintances, the guy was best friends with the other colleague of mine. He agreed with me blocking the guy as he finds this type toxic. A few days later I contacted my other colleague (the best friend of this creep) and asked him what the heck they were talking about me as I have never talked about my private life to my colleague. Nothing. The creep just wanted me to feel bad and insecure. Another few days later, around midnight, Mr Creep contacted me on the advertising website again, using a fake email address – how surprising. He wrote a long long message to me. He had talked to his best friend, he talked about everything, he was just joking with the divorce and he didn’t understand why I didn’t find it funny, I should have told him to stop it, etc. He also wrote to me that I was too fat for his standards, my videos were crap, he would never want a woman with a kid and thought that my inconsistent behaviour was caused by my problematic private life. I hope won’t contact me again. After all this crap, I decided to give online dating as I don’t find it effective and safe.
What do you think, guys? Who was inconsistent in this story? I am really insane? What’s wrong with not tolerating certain kinds of behaviour? What are your experiences with online dating?
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